Hockey isn’t over. It’s 10 (Celsius) degrees. Windy as hell. Maybe we’ll get summer.

Which reminds me. I don’t want to be in Toronto this winter.

I am not a winter person.

Any more.

When I was five, skiing in Ontario was fun. When my kids were five I had a few good winters on a snowboard. Now that I’m the big five (oh), I have as much interest in snow as flying to the fricking moon. Actually, I have more interest in the moon.

My ideal winter job would be:

  • somewhere south of Miami
  • working on a bathing suit shoot for SI
  • all expenses paid
  • rooming with Kathy Ireland

What I would really, seriously consider would be:

  • somewhere that’s only had snow once or twice in past 10 years
  • consulting, crewing on a sailboat, taking pictures of sunsets or selling tickets for the snorkeling tour
  • steady if modest income enhanced by some sort of ‘performance incentive’ (free beer or internet time)
  • some challenge, some excitement and a winter experience that doesn’t include sliding, shoveling or filling the windshield wiper fluid

What I have to offer:

  • what do you need? (I don’t play guitar)

Seriously, I’m open to a reasonable opportunity that takes me south for a few months. I’m good with boats, dogs, clients and beer. I’m not bad on the internet. I can show you a thing or two about social media, brand building, sales and turning your business around. I can write your blog for you and be you on Twitter.

Being somewhat flexible, if it’s necessary to commute between the condo in Aspen and the yacht in the Mediterranean, then I can overlook the winter part. I was a pretty darn good ski instructor in my past.

If you’re interested, just send the plane. I can be ready just after labor day, or tomorrow depending on the opportunity.

I’m really looking forward to hearing from you (really, really).

PS. I know it’s early. I’ll repost this a little closer to bathing suit shoot season.