1. Showing Genuine Appreciation
The other day after a “get to know you lunch” with a “fellow traveler” who I had arranged to meet for the first time, I received a “thank you” note in follow-up.
Why was I impressed? Because the card was thoughtfully hand written and came in the post. All these things made it “stand-out” as opposed to the rushed perfunctory “thank you” sent by e-mail.
The email “thank you” is a lot better than nothing – but the hand written note lifted-it to another level
This brings me to my next related point
As the best-selling author and researcher Robert Cialdini noted in his book “Influence” – “we are all phenomenal suckers for flattery – we tend as a rule to believe the praise and to like those who provide it”.
My new friend mentioned earlier – also made good use of this in his hand written note, complimenting me on something, not something particularly impressive – but it seemed genuine.
Was I “seduced” by his compliment? “Seduction” may be a stretch, but it did make me like him just a little bit more!
3. Praise – catching others doing something right
This third point builds on the previous points – the power of praise.
Kenneth Blanchard in his best seller “The one minute manager” – said as managers we should try to catch those working with us doing something right.
In respect to praise – Blanchard said it works best when:
- We praise people immediately
- Tell people what they did right – be specific
- Tell people how good you feel about what they did right, and how it helps the organization & other people who work there
- Encourage them to do more of the same!
So there you have it – 3 easy habits anyone can apply. You just need to have the right “mind-set” and be alert to apply – appreciation, flattery and praise, habits that can significantly improve your “likability” and influence with others no matter who.